Don’t forget to have fun
I forgot.
I couldn’t name what felt light. Couldn’t tell you anything that I did for fun, for no other reason than it brought me joy.
I could list chores and tasks. I could give you my “To Do” list. I could describe what I was getting done and when. But, fun? Not so easy, not so accessible.
Things are shifting.
The lightness of life is creeping gently back into my life and heart.
I can do something just because I want to, because it feels easy and aligned. Because it naturally makes me smile without trying.
It doesn’t have to be costly or complicated either. Cheap, free and simple is often the way. Today I played football with my dog, well chase the football for the dog. I also did some colouring in and drawing, no end result in mind. Tomorrow I’m meeting up with a friend to go for a dog walk and to put the world to rights. I’ll write what comes to mind, build what feels true.
Fun can be found in conversations with friends, in favourite tv and films, in dancing solo in the kitchen, in making your space comfortable and cosy, in laughter with trusted souls and acquaintances who lighten the day. In daftness with your pets, in giggles with family, with the kids in your life. Grown up kids at heart too. In planning and creating, in cooking and crafting. In clearing out and welcoming in. In old jokes and those “you had to be there” stories shared over a cuppa. In aloneness and solitude. In letting go.
Today, if the moment arises, and if it doesn’t, grab the chance for fun. Open the door to fun, to being in that special moment of lightness and silliness. Even for a moment. It will build, it will feel safer slowly. You’ll come back to you.
Sebastian Etienne
#healing #survivors #selfcare #selfworth
Shrink to fit
That’s how I lived for a long time. Stuck in an environment where survival was the focus. Where self came last and therefore got lost along the way.
Silence became a route to safety and survival.
Standing out and being visible was dangerous.
Self ownership was labelled as arrogance by those needing to control
Speaking up was dangerous and opened the door to the unknown
Self governance was unreachable
Self awareness was filled was guilt and shame
Shrinking to fit the expectations and understanding of others was a way to stay alive and stay in some perceived sense of control.
No more
I am just like you. We are complex and multi layered beings. Each individual and each connected. My experiences shaped my view of the world and the people in it. My experiences shaped how I view myself. My growth is my right and my responsibility. My kindness is not a weakness. My self belief is not a fault. My shadow is welcome; as is my light. My compassion and pure soul under the grief and pain is a gift not a curse. My shields are earned and serve me when truly needed. My hope comes from knowing despair. My circle is based on truth and love, respect and compassion. Justice is fundamental to who I am. Faith guides me. Love leads me home. I owe an apology only to myself, I owe forgiveness to me too. I live in line with my values or at least try every day to do so. I fall sometimes. I rise as well.
I live without permission nor expectation. I own nothing but who I am. I demand nothing. I accept you as you accept me. Do no harm is more than a motto. I love deeply. I can walk away with grace and peace. I allow fun and happiness into my heart as why else are we here. My purpose is my own. I will walk by your side and you walk by mine. I will protect and prevent harm in all the ways I can. I create from hope, from depth and from truth. I have faults and that’s okay. I have strengths and that’s also okay. I am not perfect nor do I claim to be. I’m neither a broken sinner nor an enlightened saint, somewhere human in between. I desire. I dream. I wish and I work. I plant seeds, I water hope. I get angry. I get sad. I live with grief. I carry pain. I am worthy of more than I feel comfortable accepting. I am human. Just like you.
You have the right, without permission or apology, to shine, to live, to share, create, to care, hope, strive, thrive and dream. To Be.
Own it
Honour it
Enjoy it
Live it
#selfworth #survivors #growth #selfvalidation #courage
Sebastian Etienne